Unknown Heart

Not one of us knows our hearts. Our desperately wicked deceitful heart
All we know is what our heart chooses to reveal
Illusions of reality
Testing our irrefutable version of what's real
For the Christian woman
We perceive the aching in our being
The yearning during the testing
The throb of vaginal walls
And the sensation rushing through our blood stream as immediate need
We perceive these things as something necessary to our existence we can't see
making ourselves believe
That we can't hear..
can't see anything...
can't alone breathe
without another human running hands and other things in and out of our being
Our hearts constantly deceive
Making us believe that that we can never be independently free
Of the deceit dripping as water spout
Of the wickedness trickling out
Of the thoughts that we think
We have learned to believe that love is sex and sex is our earnest need
I must say it hurts me that my own heart would lie to me
Lacing it's lying tongue in sweet candy before deceiving you and deceiving me
Knowing we would hang on to every word
Because one man and woman took inheritance that did not belong to them to know the one thing forever unknown thereby handing them their curse
Because their heart deceived and they believed
Our hearts lack the purity to be the women God needs
We hand over a wickedly deceitful thing in our being
misunderstanding the honest plea our heart is making
Choosing the adventure we grab tight to rendezvous over Jesus any day of the week
And we show our plight...all the while fantasizing in our delight
With heart eluding to vision not really real
We are left standing after all has happened
With our heart of wicked deceit still knocking and asking
Us to believe the plea it's making
Again and again and again
Then the initial belief our heart has drained from our faith fades and now we perceive that from the beginning Jesus...is all we will ever need